randomness : taking classes, wizards of the digital age, iot shenanigans
its funny how i only tend to post here when i'm going through shit. like all posts are "boohoo, i'm sad, i'm lonely and i'm a loser and i want to die" lol, its why i don't post that much. i have like a dozen drafts of that very nature. its like if i tend to write whats going on in my mind, depressive content is inevitable. so this is like a deliberate, forced attempt to be positive xD
so, yeah, in my weird psuedo stream of conciousness style stuff here are some random thoughts along stuff i've been upto from the past 3 weeks, arranged in no particular order.
i taught a class the other day ! on gimp !
so my college, while it sucks, does have a pretty decent linux club, that i joined up. and i'm kinda good at using linux or atleast i think so. damn it, i'm doubting myself lol
this blog is hosted on a server that you can only access through ssh, which should be more than enough of an indicator to show that i'm somewhat competent at using unix-like systems lol. [ this is me trying to convince myself that i'm not one hundred percent useless. weird flex, but okay ]
but yeah. so the club is like this forum where we can host sessions, workshops or whatever. basically fun events where you can teach, learn or entertain or whatever. so i decided to introduce and talk a little about using gimp for various basic tasks.
i love teaching. which is weird cos my social skills are kinda on the sucky end of the spectrum. it feels like with time, i've actually grown worse at dealing with people. but i still like to teach. idk. my poor communication skills makes it tricky for me to speak and stuff, and i'm pretty sure i suck at teaching, but i still tend to do it cos its something i like, and i think people actually learn stuff when i teach, but idk, call it delusional wishful thinking :D it makes me feel useful. i guess its an opportunity to gain validation and acceptance, in some small way.
so yeah, i took a workshop on gimp ! it kinda sucked xD the number of people who actually attended was pretty darn low [ read : nearly 0 ]. but bleh, i still had fun. This is in fact my second such 'workshop', the first one was an 'intro to linux, free software, and basic shell scripting' that i took along with a friend back in april. i'm kinda proud of how that one went. i'm holding another workshop thingy on a similar topic sometime next month. fun lol.
also, i've succesfully converted around 10 different laptops to the glory of linux. i feel like one of those missionaries, or rather knight.
i fight for the users xD
i'm working with more electronics !
the only reason i deal with iot is cause ik all these unconventional netcat [ if you don't know it yet, netcat is seeeeexy ] hacks that make it easy to grab data from sensors and stuff lol. basically not having to configure a server or messing with sockets or anything of that sort. also i like iot cos its fun to deal with the physical world.
like think about it. we write specific text, and depending on whether the text is *just* right we can influene the world. its a spell ffs ! we're basically wizards. yes, you're a wizard harry ! its why i like writing code. this sensation of control, and wielding infinite power which can only be accessed if you know the right words. i mean. its crazy. we have spells for transferring information, spells for accessing information, spells for interacting with the real world. spells for putting thoughts in others heads, spells to make others see what you're seeing. ssds and flash memory are all tiny transistor-based technology all etched in silicon. that makes them memory crystals in essence. and processors are then 'operational' crystals or something. i like this. its looking at technology with an arcane, even occult point of view.
i don't consider myself to be a good programmer [ if this were a depressive post, i'd whine about how i suck, even at things i genuinely like to do ]. my code isn't very good, and i tend to prefer hackier solutions opposed to superior legit ones. this means i get stuff done quicker, but my stuff isn't scalable, and people aren't generally impressed with anything i build. take a look at ouroboros for instance. it sucks lol, but it gets the job done. i'm kinda finding it hard to extend and improve it, and am wondering whether i even should do that. i want to get better at that whole thing. i feel like i'm pretty good at writing shell stuff. like so much so that it feels like the only thing i feel i can do reasonably well. but then again, i feel i can do *all* kinds of stuff with it. its like i've got this one trick, and that one trick gets me everywhere. like i'm relying on this one thing far too much than i have to, but hey, at the very least i'm somewhat okay at it. i'm waiting for the day it backfires. i'm kinda proficient at python, c and java. but idk. i'm most comfortable with the shell. its natural and it Gets Stuff Done. like if i need to fetch the contents of a static webpage using say python or something i'd have to use a bunch of libraries and its all very tedious. since shell scripting allows you to utilise cli programs already installed, one can run something like "lynx --dump website.url" and scrapte the web page contents. its convenient. its intuitive. and it makes sense xD theres this sense of abstraction.'black boxes'. sure, in that example lynx is a dependency, but the point i'm trying to make is that the shell allows controlling and interacting with other software. sort of like a puppet master. i can make smaller programs in c, or java or whatever and glue stuff up using shell stuff. its fun. and pipes are like the most convenient things ever. i fear that my love for the shell environment will prove to be problematic in the future. idk.
the shell is considered to be an extremely dirty way of doing things, and its just bleh.
but yeah, i'm supposed to make a basic "internet controlled robot" for this semester's project. if that sounds vague, its because it was meant to be vague. i knew i wanted to make a "robot", but i had no idea what kinda robot. so bleh, choose the most ambiguos, general title and somehow manage to project the sensation of being ambitious and run with it. decide the specifics later on lol. let me know if you have any ideas to suggest ? i'm looking for something small, preferably performing some useful task.
also. shell scripting + raspberry pi is a deadly, deadly combination.
i kinda like the feeling of 'making things' lol. an outlet for my creative energy perhaps ? idk. it seems healthy and its making me learn stuff and also it leads to the eventual possibility wherein i actually build something useful that helps people :p its a pipedream, but thats one of my goals - being responsible for the creation of something that actually solves problems. so yeah, i like to experiment and make whacky shit.
i feel i've grown more confident in this regard. in making things that "just work". at times it feels like if i'm motivated enough i can do anything i put my mind to and its a good feeling to have. being sure of yourself. its a welcome reprieve from the perpetually low self esteem. then again, i feel i might have become a tad bit arrogant xD its like i have two extremes : arrogant godlike narccisist and low self-esteem carpet and theres no in-between xD
i haven't read anything recently. the last few months, basically all of 2019 has been really hectic for me. i *finally* managed to read 'the color of magic' and i had a great time. that book seemed like the first thing to have actually made me laugh properly in a long time. i'm currently stuck reading 'on anarchism' by noam chomsky, idk, i just can't seem to find the time or the patience to read [ my mind has been pretty damn restless ].
i'm trying out this random sleep cycle experiment. buckminister fuller had this polyphasic sleeping rhythm thingy that i'm trying to emulate. its worked with varying degrees of success. my body keeps reverting to the standard diphasic cycle thingy after some time, so i can't really hold it. i suspect its because i'm not getting enough sleep ? i'll try and fix it lol. its basically being fed up of not being able to sleep properly, and then forcing it to be positive, productive. yay. i sleep in class tho. some classes are suuuper boring.
i don't think i've spoken about this yet, but hundredrabbits are epic. they're this really epic wonder duo on a floating studio. they had been sailing for like 2 years to get to japan and i've been following them for over a year. they finally reached their destination this april, and its super epic ! go check them out, they've got an amazing youtube channel, they make amazing games and software. i've been using left, which is a text editor, for some time now. dotgrid is also pretty damn neat. also ! orca is amazing, but sadly i haven't had much luck getting it to work, but if i do, you can bet i'll make some really cringe electronic music.
seriously tho, i want to make music, but i have no idea where to start. i've always wanted to play the guitar. i'm pretty crap with a keyboard. i learnt it for a brief period of time as a kid, never really got good at it. i can play the tabla tho xD learnt it for a significant amount of time; again, not very good at it [ "'not very good' at pretty much everything i do" -> me, in a nutshell lol ] but i like playing it. thats not something i usually share with people cos i'm embarassed about not being proficient at it. but meh, another randon tidbit about yours truly.
dwm is amazing. i wrote about arch before. yeah ik, btw i use arch [ that meme isn't dying anytime soon lol ]. but a tiling window manager is soooo amazing ! i used to fret about the whole giving up of control of manually handling your windows, but as i've come to realise, the whole concept of floating window managers don't make sense really. you actually have to put in effort to manage your windows. in dwm i run most stuff in 'monocle' which is this mode that runs the current application as full screen. when i do need to look at multiple windows i'm happy with having them split the default way. its *amazing* and it feels so freeing.
i can zip around super fast using just the keyboard. thats another pretty important thing from me, my hands never really leave the keyboard, unless if i'm looking at my browser screen, or in gimp, or something that requires the mouse idk.
i feel i've improved the overall manner in which i interact with my computer. i think a lot about how i interact with technology and how to make those interactions more meaningful, more precise, more efficient and this is a step in the right direction. we're gods, limited only by our interfaces.
also. arch backfired. i can't upgrade the system without breaking it xD. i have to reinstall everything from scratch if and when something goes wrong. annoying. stupid nvidia drivers. i can't find any info online to help me. too pussy to face arch gods on reddit or elsewhere [ did i read the manuals ? um yeah. did i read arch wiki ? um yeah. ]. it sucks i don't have anyone to go to for these kind of shitty questions xD. hmu if you know some stuff about arch and are willing to help out, thx.
hmmm other news. idk.
preacher is amazing. kinda sad its the last season tho.
mr. robot's last season coming this december.i'm gonna miss that show.
i was watching suits. i'm almost caught up. somewhere in s8 rn. still waiting for it to get over before i complete the rest of it.
also i'm watching scrubs. s5 as of this writing.
having a laptop is amazing. like it feels like the way i study, and take in information has been revolutionised by the sheer portability. i'm yet to actually take it out and be productive/creative out of home, but it sure helps when it comes to consuming media, reading or editing documents.